Today I was out in the world, a place I don’t always like to be. It’s evening now and I am happy to be back home. Yeah, home. Zephyr is a big furry curl upon my bed. I’m nestled in at my desk, Anna Nalick on the play list. As soon as I’m healed (knee injury–slow recovery) I ‘m dancing w/C to “Breathe (2 a.m.)”. Ah, C. . . C is savory, and has ruined me for dancing w/anyone else. Sigh.
Meanwhile, I craft. . . crochet, sew, button, cook, bake and walk. And when I’m good I do yoga and try breathing. . .
I’m reading Appetites: Why Women Want, (how apropos) by Caroline Knapp. She was a brilliant woman, (she died in 2002) insightful, elegant on paper and terribly wounded. The quintissential story teller of the secret lives of women. (No one wants to read the underbelly according to Martha Stewart.) You want an eloquent voice who was there, and Knapp was. Her bestsellers, Drinking: A Love Story, then Pack of Two: The Intricate Bond Between People and Dogs were amazing, but Appetites is sending me through the roof. In a nut shell, it’s about how women have learned to deprive themselves of what they really want–love, compassion, understanding, comfort, power, sex–by trading these in for more socially acceptable desires–food, alcohol, shopping and sex. (note: sex is on both lists. You secretly want sex, so you ravenously eat; you yearn for love but settle for sex.) Of course, it’s more complicated than that, but it’s pissing me off.
Excerpt: “The great preoccupation with. . .food, shopping, appearance, in turn, is less of a genuine focus on hunger–indulging it, understanding it, making decisions about it–than it is a monumental distraction from hunger.”
So, basically all the women you see perusing malls, glutting on cinnamon rolls, maxing out their credit cards are starving for something else entirely. . . and I understand this completly. Sigh. . .
Not that anyone cares, now, but the sun came out and I shot lots of photos. So more Etsy scarflettes and scarves to post.