Are the moons lined up in the sky? Is Mars in retrograde? What the hell is going on in the universe? Everything feels likes it’s turned to shit this last week and I’m ready to crawl back into bed and disconnect the world. It’s a communication snafu on the grandest of scales and I’m afraid to speak to anyone! Everything I say is misunderstood. People are angry at me for reasons I don’t understand. My feelings keep getting zapped and I’m very bruised and wounded by nearly everything.
I am the first to admit I am a very fragile soul, not remotely cut out to deal in our everyday cutthroat world. But come on! Am I on some universal karmic target list this week? I’ve got it coming at me from all sides–I can’t even go to the cafe today–my home away from home, because R said some truly hurtful things to me yesterday and I am still stunned that the man who I was toting the Prince Charming Award to just days earlier for good friendship turned on me so swiftly. A customer went tyrannically vindictive on me, and I got too close to a man I adore–way too much–and now my heart is bruised, banged up and I’m just sad.
I try and put on a good show, cool and fine, unemotional and unaffected, until I’m not then I have no other choice but to hide. What else am I to do? The universe says open your heart, but I’m tired of it getting run over in traffic.
Deep, deep sigh.
It is about to rain for the first time in over 6 months. We so desperately need it. I so desperately need it. Our world is in need of a good rinsing off, a cleansing away, a starting over–if we are lucky to get them. Let it rain.