I want to write a very long reflection on these days but I can’t. I need to stay off the computer, which is the hardest thing for me to do.
I haven’t had a migraine in two lethargic days. My pain went away, but my energy and emotional stamina is zapped. Still, I have come up for air and gotten a glimpse of the big picture again. It’s a start.
I went to the acupuncturist. What I wanted was something as simple as lying my body down on a comfortably warm table and getting plugged from head to toe in needles and sleep. What I did was fill out miles of overly personal biological info, get questioned for eons, then diagnosed into the gutter. Apparently, he tells me, with a frown, I am in bad shape. Well, no kidding. Anemia, hypoglycemia, hormones, thyroid, muscles carved in brick, etc, etc. He thinks I’m allergic to wheat, wants me to live on meat and vegetables ALONE for 3 WEEKS. No coffee, no bread, no nuts, raisins, cereal, yogurt, cheese. . . Can I re-mention the “no coffee” statement. I have little left, that I love, to give up. Finally, he got to the acupuncture and it helped, so much so, that I went out to the co-op, investigated things like “gluten-free” bread, wheat free cereal. I bought Omega-3 vitamins. I bought salmon, decaf, tofu, soy dogs. This isn’t brand new, it’s just brand new, again.
Life seems to be a series of endless starting-overs. Maybe, it’s just my life. My motivation, determination, memory, ebbs and flows. My only constant, that no one ever has to tell me to do, is walk the dog. I love to walk, really long, long walks, where no one can find me, where I can’t see or hear another soul. That’s hard to do in a city, but I make the effort for sanity.
My migraine is creeping back. I can feel it in the far splinters of my head, just a twitch. I took a long hot, submerged bath. wrapped my neck and head in Tiger Balm, took Advil, drank water, covered my eye, and yet, here I am typing! Writing is also about sanity. I don’t know what migraines are about.
Back to my pillow. I’m going back to the acupuncturist. I will let him talk about wheat, allergies, vitamins, diets, stress and hormones, while he sticks pins in my head, and I drift beneath it all, take a long walk in my mind with Zephyr down a long dirt road where it’s quiet and I can’t hear anything but the birds and the wind.