The weather has cooled again. I am so grateful. Still, my sadness won’t lift. I am frightened about money, my home, work, or the lack of it, my migraines, that seem to run my existence. Everything comes second & we can’t find relief, a cause, it just is. And I don’ t accept that, yet I find myself lying down more often than not, ice packs over my eye & neck. This is not a life.
I try and make small positive moves every day, but today showering, walking Zephyr and getting coffee are all I’ve managed to summons and it’s 2:30. Pain is lonely. And I’m really good at suffering alone. What could anyone do anyway? Stare at me in pity. It only makes me feel bad for them, having to deal with me.
Yet, I need to talk, share, cry, console with someone, so I come here. Isn’t writing what I’ve always done? Even when I’m doing it with one eye closed. Ridiculous.
I’m going to make myself do one thing now and then hopefully another will follow.