Today, FINALLY! was biopsy day. Not something one normally looks forward to, but I’m not big on suspense so I got the first appointment I could.
I was surprisingly calm–ok, I may have taken a Xanax, but I also had coffee–can you believe I factored in a Starbucks run on my way TO the radiology office? But I ate too, sat in the sun for a moment & mellowed, mellowed, oooommmmmmmed.
I had the forethought to pack yoga pants (comfort) AND my MP3 player–Louise Hay for mantras, Inside A Dog for technical distraction, and a bodice ripping, “At Last Comes Love”, total cheese fondu–for the really big distraction.
I sat in a WAY-separate waiting room from last week–the one-degree-more-screwed-than-just-getting-a-mammogram room. It was smaller and quieter, because I was all alone.
Normally, I like alone, alone can be good, but not today. So when I got a little freaky, I closed my eyes and brought up my Twitter cheering section–the ladies on Twitter who have been following along, sending me hugs, comforting thoughts, and it helped calm me back down.
Side note: THOSE WOMEN ROCK!!
I may have been physically alone, but those women were with me cheering me on. In my mind there may have been wine, cheese cake, cupcakes, a lot of laughter and cheerleader skirts too, but whatever works.
So, a biopsy, here’s how it went:
1) You know the massage table where you lie prostrate with your face in the little hole? It’s that, but it’s your boob in the hole. (Note: my neck hurt more than the operation.)
2) Soft lighting, mood music, a warm blanket. They did strap my legs down, which didn’t bode well with my “free-to-be” self, but I kind of forgot as the table rose up (like your car on the rack) and the doc and her assistant went underneath where I couldn’t see. Perhaps, a good thing. I did see one of the needles and that was enough to clench my eyes. Om….pass me a pom-pom.
3) I could see the x-ray computer. It was me, or parts of me. Not even parts, but calcium deposits, she said, “like grains of sand.” (In other words, without the mammogram they were undetectable. I would have NEVER known they were there. Get your mammogram!)
4) The grains of sand looked like a wafty cloud on the screen, like mist moving over the sun, but heading out. NOT staying. I liked that.
5) They kept saying, this is going to pinch, bite, feel like a bee sting, but it really didn’t. I’ve had cavity’s filled that felt worse. All I felt was a bit uncomfortable, except for breathing. I ALWAYS have to remind myself to breathe.
6) And then it was over. They secured the hole with tape, no stitches, bandages, gauze, then bra (24 hour of bra! Ack!). They swathed me up in sprained-ankle tape and stuffed it with a pink ice pack–a boob pack. *Snicker* They warm up too quickly. I want more, for the summer, just for fun. 🙂
7) I can not bathe for 24 hours and all I want is a hot bubble bath. They say it’s going to hurt more when the novicane wears off. No Celebrex for 48 hours. Perhaps, I can lure Zephyr onto the couch. Make him my furry heating pad. I want chocolate pudding and Chinese food. I get to have WHATEVER I want. Those are today’s rules.
8) Back on my computer, on Twitter, women are telling me they thought about me today, were wishing me happy thoughts, a good outcome. This alone upped my ability to hold onto positive thoughts TENFOLD. How could I not keep them when a whole gaggle of really bitchen’ women are helping me think them. xo
thank you, d xo