I got up early today, 8 a.m. I know YOU don’t think that’s early, but I do. So there.
I got up early because the temperature is supposed to reach 102 degrees and the dogs needed walking. I will get up for them. I will not get up for anything else–not coffee, not bacon, not even waffles. I am NOT a morning person. I never have been. Ask my mother.
So we walked TO coffee. Coffee that was perhaps 1/2 a mile away, but felt like 5, because the dogs had to stop. And sniff. And pee. On every. Single. Solitary. Tree. Lawn. Bush. Stick. It was agony. I carried Trooper part way just to put some lead on it.
Zephyr was stauled on a particulary intriguing tree when this ratchety old woman resting her bunions on a porch railing, whaled, “HEY! Don’t let your dog pee on my tree!!” This confuses me, greatly. Her tree was probably a hundred year old oak, and Zephyr peeing on it wasn’t going to DO anything to it. It’s a gnat on an elephant. A spritz on a whale. Seriously, lady, go tend to your bunions. They’re gross.
Onward, we spotted matching Siamese cats lounging in a driveway. I’m not a fan, either is Zephyr, who walked way around them. Trooper rarely notices such oddities.
A man went whizzing past on a bike, wearing an iRAPTURE shirt. All I could imagine was a techie born-again Christian, and I wondered if Jesus would be texting before his arrival?
Finally, I got my coffee and a croissant, but someone, somewhere, sometime, had PEED on the bakery patio, and I quickly lost my appetite, ditched the croissant & we walked back. Dog pee I noted, does not smell NEARLY as bad as human pee. In case you were wondering.
The temperature was rising, my coffee was soothing. the dogs seemed to walk faster, or me slower. The return trip is always better–the pooping is out of the way–bagging dog poop does not lend well to the aroma of sipping coffee, FYI.
And the grande finale? I stopped to ask the postman a question, and he didn’t speak English…so much for my illusions of the postal service as the all-American grand gesture of the wild west. *Sigh*
This neighborhood is just strange.