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Posts Tagged ‘migraines’

I haven’t checked in for a while. My mind doesn’t seem to function in complete sentences, lately, let alone anything thought provoking. I’ll keep it simple. Let’s try a list:

1. I got my MRI, freaky as hell, but I was very brave, especially for me.

Inside my head

Inside my head

2. MRI was clean. Dr. pronounced I have “chronic migraines” which is code for “I have no idea what’s wrong with you.”

3. He put me on meds that left me feeling drunk all day. I quit them.

4. He put me on herbs: riboflavin, feverfew, CQ10, Omega-3–horse size pills, 3 times a day. Gulp. It could take weeks, he says with a non-chalant confidence. I am not feeling overly hopeful.

5. Emergency Imitrex migrain meds are $275 for 15 pills, GENERIC. No Imitrex.

6. Back at the accupuncturist. He keeps pushing for the veggie/meat only diet. He’s on some return-to-the-dark-ages push. I am resisting. I think he’s nuts, but the needles do help.

7. I need to go back to yoga. Anyone want to go? That first step is always the worst. Sigh.

8. Meanwhile I walk w/Zephyr.  🙂

d.

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I want to write a very long reflection on these days but I can’t. I need to stay off the computer, which is the hardest thing for me to do.

I haven’t had a migraine in two lethargic days. My pain went away, but my energy and emotional stamina is zapped. Still, I have come up for air and gotten a glimpse of the big picture again. It’s a start.

I went to the acupuncturist. What I wanted was something as simple as lying my body down on a comfortably warm table and getting plugged from head to toe in needles and sleep. What I did was fill out miles of overly personal biological info, get questioned for eons, then diagnosed into the gutter. Apparently, he tells me, with a frown, I am in bad shape. Well, no kidding. Anemia, hypoglycemia, hormones, thyroid, muscles carved in brick, etc, etc. He thinks I’m allergic to wheat, wants me to live on meat and vegetables ALONE for 3 WEEKS. No coffee, no bread, no nuts, raisins, cereal, yogurt, cheese. . . Can I re-mention the “no coffee” statement. I have little left, that I love, to give up. Finally, he got to the acupuncture and it helped, so much so, that I went out to the co-op, investigated things like “gluten-free” bread, wheat free cereal. I bought Omega-3 vitamins. I bought salmon, decaf, tofu, soy dogs. This isn’t brand new, it’s just brand new, again.

acupuncture by hradcanska, flickr

Life seems to be a series of endless starting-overs. Maybe, it’s just my life. My motivation, determination, memory, ebbs and flows. My only constant, that no one ever has to tell me to do, is walk the dog. I love to walk, really long, long walks, where no one can find me, where I can’t see or hear another soul. That’s hard to do in a city, but I make the effort for sanity.

My migraine is creeping back. I can feel it in the far splinters of my head, just a twitch. I took a long hot, submerged bath. wrapped my neck and head in Tiger Balm, took Advil, drank water, covered my eye, and yet, here I am typing! Writing is also about sanity. I don’t know what migraines are about.

Back to my pillow. I’m going back to the acupuncturist. I will let him talk about wheat, allergies, vitamins, diets, stress and hormones, while he sticks pins in my head, and I drift beneath it all, take a long walk in my mind with Zephyr down a long dirt road where it’s quiet and I can’t hear anything but the birds and the wind.

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I’m sitting here typing with one eye shut. The lack of depth perception does not help my already mediocre typing skills. It shouldn’t make a difference, but it seems to.

I am fighting with migraines, or some sort of horrible head pain. And it’s making my life hell. Ice packs and Advil have become my closest companions. I lay submerged up to my eyeballs in hot baths, anything to ease the pain that stabs behind my right eye. I’ve been in and out of the ER–the scariest place I’ve ever been. And I’m not going back. The system has me by the … well, it’s got me cornered. Too much cash for MediCal, not enough to pay the doctors.

So, I did something I rarely ever do unless absolutely bottomed out. I put a call out to nearly everyone I know for ideas, health insurance info, anything or anyone that might offer assistance. It’s a really sucky feeling asking for help. A very vulnerable feeling. But some people have really risen to the occasion. People I never thought would. Big surprise on me.

quan-yin1

Meanwhile, I am at the mercy of anyone who can read–my favorite thing to do. Sigh.  And I’ve got an appt. with a great acupuncturist. Always good.

If I’m not here a lot, or my shop looks dusty for a while, or there’s no new crochets or naughty cards at Dahlila, I apologize. I’m anxious to get back to work, but for right now there’s a pillow with my name on it–and coffee! I’ve got a doctor’s permission to drink more coffee. So, that’s one good thing.

wish me luck, d.

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Poor blog. Not getting much attention lately. Mostly, writing short, pithy posts on my Etsy blog–less pathos, more Prozac.  Plus, I’ve been job hunting (again!), stock market hyperventilating, Excel studying (yuck!) & hiding out. No tango, just long walks with Zephyr. Long, long walks.

The weather is fabulous. It feels like April. Some days this feels wonderful, and others, well, it’s January for God’s sake. Can we get a little rain, please?

Okay, you get the picture. When I have something wonderful, kind or even decent to share, I’ll let you know.

d.

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Hello. Yes, I’ve been the un-poster, the non-writer, the bad blogger. What can I say? These ever-so-fun migraines have leveled me flat. My biggest joy is the doc prescribing more caffeine–I kid you not. He, of course, does not know who he is talking to. My blood is transfused w/the finest Italian roast available. Throw a couple Excedrin Migraine tabes (all caffeine) into my coffee and I’m on rocket fuel!

Anyway, the head bangers have subsided for now. Hallelujah. Plus, I’ve got my new “blended lenses” aka bifocals. Yes, more fun. They are supposed to help me read the fine print, but mostly I feel like I’m wandering through fun house mirrors, dizzy and nauseous. JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE STAIRS! (Sorry, warning to myself.) If you don’t hear from me for more than a week, I’m probably at the bottom of the stairwell, having pitched it over the “blended lenses. ”

***

On a fun note, I’ve been invited to write the “Daily Dose” over on the Etsy Vintage Blog http://etsyvintage.blogspot.com/. I even figured out how to create a hot link all by myself. I am so awesome. (Can’t do it here, yet, but one web mess at a time.) It should be fun. I get to pick my favorites. Who doesn’t love that?

Well, it’s been a nice evening. After a grizzly 100+ degree day, Zephyr and I went swimming at the river. It was lovely–a girl getting to swim with her dog. The best. Now, he’s crashed in front of the AC, and I am off to watch my FAVORITE show: Burn Notice, because # 2 on my favorite things to do list is Jeffrey Donovan. Anywhere, anytime, babe. Just say the word. 😉

Oh my. . .

Oh my. . .

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It has been a rather long day. I got to crochet, but I was sitting in the med clinic while I was doing it.

The key to surviving a day of waiting amidst an array of sick, depressed and often deranged indigent folk is come prepared:

1. Large coffee, always good.

2. Pack a snack. I had PB&J and a granola bar.

3. Lots of hand sanitizer and extra Kleenex.

4. Have a diversion: crocheting is ideal. Plus, I bought a slew of old Oprahs to spread around. The very old, veiled in black, non-English speaking woman next to me took the issue w/all the puppies on the cover. Good selection.

Two hispanic women across from me were also crocheting, tatting, really. Very fine, detailed work. I was impressed, and they gave the smile and nod too. A crafty domestic women bonding thing that spans centuries.

Coming prepared means sharing or hording; I decided to share. I loaned my pen to the crazy woman.  I spread around the magazines.  I slipped two Advil to the scary looking dude who said he got jumped, dislocating his rotator cuff. And to salve all of our peace, I gave the little girl, screaming and squirming like a worm, half my PB&J.

Unforunately, in the end, I did not have the right medical card to be seen. And, getting one would take at least a week. I read the paperwork’s fine print (I need new glasses too) and I don’t qualify anyway. (I’m in that weird grey area. Too much money for medical help, but not enough for insurance. Welcome to America–where only the poorest of the poor and the wealthiest get good medical attention. The rest of us–the majority of us–are screwed.

Five hours later, I’m home from my doctor–who only takes cash, a lot of it to get the job done. Now I’ve got a slew of meds–inhaler, nasal spray, antibiotics and Imitrex. Allergies, ear infection and migraines. Yikes! Honestly, though I’m afraid to take all this stuff. The warning labels alone scares away whatever ails you. I prefer the hot brandy, hot bath, call it a night approach, but as I type this I’m wearing dark sunglasses indoors. My ear is throbbing and at 4pm I’m ready to curl up and call it a day.

Have a good weeked all, and stay well! Getting sick is a costly infection.

d.

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